A Father's Thoughts and Fears
by kiwi-girl123
Summary: Henry's thoughs are fears while Shawn is away serving in the army.


This idea came to me while I was watching the news and heard about the death of an NZ soldier on Afghanistan.

Disclaimer: I in no shape or form own Psych. All characters belong to show creator Steve Franks.

Henry was beyond angry when Shawn told him he was re-enlisting in the army. He couldn't fathom why Shawn would want go back after the tough time he had the first time he came out. He had worried those 6 years Shawn was in the army the first time. He barely heard from him during those times and worried every day he was away in war. Only hearing from him when Shawn wasn't on patrol or facing in battles with the enemy.

Henry was happy when Shawn came back he could see his son every day and not panic that his son could die in a foreign country without the chance for him saying goodbye. Although he didn't love the career choice he had finally settled on he was just glad he was still in Santa Barbara. Henry was glad that Shawn was helping people but in a different way this time, he wasn't fighting some enemy but he was putting bad people away in jail.

Though their relationship was strained at the best of time Henry loved his son very much and just wanted his son safety, him to be around, to have Shawn bury him instead of him having to bury Shawn.

Henry remembered that day his world shattered, the day Shawn told him his was re-enlisting. He remembered screaming at Shawn, asking him why he wanted to risk his life again, why he wanted to go back to war. Why he was willing to put him through the pain of not knowing if he would come back again.

He still remembered the day Shawn left for Afghanistan it was the worst day of his life seeing his little boy going off to war again. Not knowing if this would be the last time he saw Shawn alive, if this would be the last time he hugged his son, saw him breathing. His heart shattered seeing the plane taking off knowing it carried his son away to an unknown fate and an unknown future.

Everyday Shawn was gone Henry worried. He relished the phone calls he got when Shawn was free they were the best part of his day.

Every time Henry heard about an attack in Afghanistan he feared that Shawn could be involved, be a casualty or have been killed. Every time the phone rang or a knock on the door he feared it could be someone from the army delivering the news that Shawn wasn't coming back.

Henry couldn't believe that Shawn was due back in a month and Shawn had promised that he wouldn't re-enlist again and this was his only time going back.

A knock at the door brought Henry back to reality he feared this might be the visit he feared. Opening the door he saw two men standing there he instantly knew what had happened. His worst fears had come to light he had lost his son to war. The two army men standing there hats off, a solemn look on their, their words "It's with my deepest sympathies that I regret to inform you that Sergeant Shawn Spencer lost his life while trying to save the life of his fellow soldiers he was a true hero. We are so sorry for your loss". He couldn't and didn't want to accept these words he wanted to believe that Shawn was coming back.

The army men had left and he was left alone with his thoughts. He picked up the photo of him and Shawn taken the week before he left. Tears fell down his cheeks and splashed onto the glass. He knew he had to call Gus and Maddie it was going to be to most difficult phones calls of his life.

The coffin coming of the plane draped in their countries flag brought Shawn's death to reality. The tears were flowing down his face he never normally cried, but seeing his son's coffin knowing his body was in there. He knew he would never see Shawn waltz into his house again, or hear his 80s references again. He would never be able to hug his son or tell him he was proud of him again. He would never once again see Psych open and help to put criminals away in jail. Next to him stood the two important people in Shawn's life Gus and Maddie, both tears flowing down their faces.

Henry sat with all of Shawn's family and friends around him. He saw the flag draped the over the coffin. The speeches from people that cared about him, he knew Shawn was loved. Then the worst moment had come his as his body was lowered into the ground. Henry felt a piece of him was being lowered into the ground as well, to be buried forever never again to be unearthed.

After the funeral Henry was standing at Shawn's grave everyone had left and had gave him some time alone. His hand rubbed Shawn's headstone and he knelt down at his grave and he whispered to him "Shawn I miss you so much. I wish you had never joined the army again. I was so worried that this would happen to you. My heart is broken; you were the most important thing in my life. I was so proud of you no matter what you did. I will always love you Shawn and I'll see you again." He felt the tears coming down his face he patted Shawn's headstone before he then turned and walked away. He knew he would see Shawn again not today but one day he would.


End file.
